A confession
I like this thing that Simply Satisfied started about writing down five things that you like about yourself. It does fly in the face of my typical British modesty to broadcast my good points but I do generally have a positive image of myself.
I would say that I am a positive person on the whole. I don't think I have ever said anything less than completely positive about Sue - and I really, honestly haven't had any cause to. I have perhaps said some less than positive things about Son and the struggle we have to get him to do his school work - but that's just being honest about the situation and telling it how it is.
I don't tend to dwell on the negative side of our situation. How our finances are in a mess, the struggles I have with my mother suffering from Alzheimer's (although I might go into that soon) and the increasing amount of care that my parents are beginning to need - just at the time that I need to spend more time working in an effort to sort out our flagging finances. I might touch upon those things from time to time but I prefer to talk about the positive side of my life, my wonderful relationship with Sue, how lucky we are to live in a beautiful part of the world, how I enjoy working from home and how lucky we are to have two children who are basically good kids (despite the problems with Son's school work). I prefer to regard my glass as half full rather than half empty.
And I do have a positive image of myself. For example, I do regard myself as a good husband and believing that helps you to be one - unless you completely delude yourself.
I didn't always used to be that way, though. There is a very specific reason why I tend to veer to the positive side. And that leads to my confession…about ten years ago I was brainwashed.
A friend of mine approached me with a "business proposition". It turned out to be one of those Multi Level Marketing schemes (sometimes called a pyramid scheme, although they would deny that it is a pyramid). I felt from the start that something good would come out of it so we signed up. I realised fairly early on, though, that it wasn't so much the business opportunity that excited me - it was selling cleaning products and I just couldn't get excited about that. It was the training and support programme behind it all. You were expected to buy books and tapes and attend seminars with motivational speakers.
Books like David Schwartz's The Magic of Thinking Big, Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich and Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People (among many others).
It didn't make me rich (not by any means) but I don't think that was what I was looking for at the time. It certainly did enrich my life, though. Suddenly being able to see the positive side of everything, instead of the negative, was liberating.
There's no doubt that there was money to be made out of that particular MLM scheme. But it didn't come from selling cleaning products - it came from selling books, tapes and seminar tickets to people in the organisation. And to that extent I suppose it was a scam. The "tools", as they were called, were supposed to be sold on a non-profit basis. But it was fairly obvious that people higher up the chain were making money on them and that that was probably their main source of income.
From our point of view, though, we were happy to pay - up to a point. It was a form of brainwashing in a way - making you think in a particular way. But a beneficial way. And all those positive vibes did have a big impact on the way that Sue and I looked at our lives and how we dealt with each other.
It also had an effect on us as parents, trying to focus on the positive in our children and I'm sure that it helped us to mould them into the confident, assured children they are. The greatest gift you can bestow upon any child is a positive self image.
It also taught us both to be happy with who we are. Because unless you can learn to love yourself it's difficult to express love for someone else.
And no, this blog is not a cunning plot to suck you all in and then hit you with some madcap MLM scheme. We finished with that some time ago.
There has to be a balance though. Sometimes you can't ignore the reality of a situation no matter how positive a spin you put on it. As Harold Wilson said: "I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat".
So with all that you'd think it would be easy to come up with another five things that I like about me, wouldn't you? Well, it isn't. But I'll take a stab at it anyway.
1) I like my hands - and I especially like what they can do to Sue!
2) I like being able to raise my left eyebrow - and that Sue finds it sexy.
3) I like the fact that I have never once (so far as I can recall anyway) had any trouble being aroused when I'm with Sue (but then that might be to do with the effect she has on me).
4) I like the fact that I'm attentive to Sue's needs (I like to think I am anyway).
5) I like the fact that I'm a gentleman.
I would say that I am a positive person on the whole. I don't think I have ever said anything less than completely positive about Sue - and I really, honestly haven't had any cause to. I have perhaps said some less than positive things about Son and the struggle we have to get him to do his school work - but that's just being honest about the situation and telling it how it is.
I don't tend to dwell on the negative side of our situation. How our finances are in a mess, the struggles I have with my mother suffering from Alzheimer's (although I might go into that soon) and the increasing amount of care that my parents are beginning to need - just at the time that I need to spend more time working in an effort to sort out our flagging finances. I might touch upon those things from time to time but I prefer to talk about the positive side of my life, my wonderful relationship with Sue, how lucky we are to live in a beautiful part of the world, how I enjoy working from home and how lucky we are to have two children who are basically good kids (despite the problems with Son's school work). I prefer to regard my glass as half full rather than half empty.
And I do have a positive image of myself. For example, I do regard myself as a good husband and believing that helps you to be one - unless you completely delude yourself.
I didn't always used to be that way, though. There is a very specific reason why I tend to veer to the positive side. And that leads to my confession…about ten years ago I was brainwashed.
A friend of mine approached me with a "business proposition". It turned out to be one of those Multi Level Marketing schemes (sometimes called a pyramid scheme, although they would deny that it is a pyramid). I felt from the start that something good would come out of it so we signed up. I realised fairly early on, though, that it wasn't so much the business opportunity that excited me - it was selling cleaning products and I just couldn't get excited about that. It was the training and support programme behind it all. You were expected to buy books and tapes and attend seminars with motivational speakers.
Books like David Schwartz's The Magic of Thinking Big, Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich and Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People (among many others).
It didn't make me rich (not by any means) but I don't think that was what I was looking for at the time. It certainly did enrich my life, though. Suddenly being able to see the positive side of everything, instead of the negative, was liberating.
There's no doubt that there was money to be made out of that particular MLM scheme. But it didn't come from selling cleaning products - it came from selling books, tapes and seminar tickets to people in the organisation. And to that extent I suppose it was a scam. The "tools", as they were called, were supposed to be sold on a non-profit basis. But it was fairly obvious that people higher up the chain were making money on them and that that was probably their main source of income.
From our point of view, though, we were happy to pay - up to a point. It was a form of brainwashing in a way - making you think in a particular way. But a beneficial way. And all those positive vibes did have a big impact on the way that Sue and I looked at our lives and how we dealt with each other.
It also had an effect on us as parents, trying to focus on the positive in our children and I'm sure that it helped us to mould them into the confident, assured children they are. The greatest gift you can bestow upon any child is a positive self image.
It also taught us both to be happy with who we are. Because unless you can learn to love yourself it's difficult to express love for someone else.
And no, this blog is not a cunning plot to suck you all in and then hit you with some madcap MLM scheme. We finished with that some time ago.
There has to be a balance though. Sometimes you can't ignore the reality of a situation no matter how positive a spin you put on it. As Harold Wilson said: "I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat".
So with all that you'd think it would be easy to come up with another five things that I like about me, wouldn't you? Well, it isn't. But I'll take a stab at it anyway.
1) I like my hands - and I especially like what they can do to Sue!
2) I like being able to raise my left eyebrow - and that Sue finds it sexy.
3) I like the fact that I have never once (so far as I can recall anyway) had any trouble being aroused when I'm with Sue (but then that might be to do with the effect she has on me).
4) I like the fact that I'm attentive to Sue's needs (I like to think I am anyway).
5) I like the fact that I'm a gentleman.
posted by Ed at 11:55 PM
8 Comments:
I love all these about you too - and many many more things too - but how about next time trying to find 5 good things about you that do not involve me???
It's always so much easier to think of the things we like about other people, especially the people we love. Just think about all the things the people who love you love about you!
BTW, I always like the eyebrow thing. I can see why Sue would think it's sexy.
yes, I think we have all done the MLM thing and come to the exact same conclusions.
But, some of the books are interesting to read. It does help to have a positive attitude.
Thanks for the confession Ed. Something about other people's confessions makes me feel more human. :)
This line really spoke to me:
"It also taught us both to be happy with who we are. Because unless you can learn to love yourself it's difficult to express love for someone else."
The truth of that practically jarred me right out of my chair.
Thanks.
ed, you make me smile by indulging my whim of a project. i can see exactly why you would like all those things. too bad we can't clone you.
and the section that fly quoted above? that's exactly why this project is so important for me to do.
thanks for playing ed. i do so appreciate it.
I just have to say ditto to the comments above. Recently, I have become so down on myself, and I find it very difficult to see the light sometimes. Sometimes it's just having that extra push...in whatever form...to make us...refocus.
Good job, Ed.
Sue Cariad, I tried. :)
Theresa, I'll have to try the eyebrow thing on you if we ever meet.
DG, yes, the books are very useful and it was by no means a waste of time or money. I'm not surprised you went through the MLM thing too.
Fly, hope you didn't fall off your chair. :)
SS, thanks to you for suggesting it - it's been a useful exercise so far.
Bex, you have a lot that you should like about you, too. Give it a go!
"The greatest gift you can bestow upon any child is a positive self image." Very true Ed. And I must say, being a gentleman is a good thing. :)
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